True Humility

I have been struggling for about a year to discern what God is calling me and my family to do with our small amount of time in this world. I feel called to serve as a minister in a church. I feel I am gifted to lead a group of people, and help in forming the theology of those people, while at the same time creating a place that is actively searching out and loving those who are not a part of our church family. However, over the last few months I have felt stuck with no solution in sight. I have become impatient and at times angry at God for not being obvious in his counsel. Boy was I wrong.

For a little over two months I have been looking for a full-time minstry job. Everytime I felt I had an opportunity God said "no". I then realized that God was leading me to a normal everyday job, in which I am called to minister to the normal everyday people I will come into contact with. The very thought of this is somehow a shot at my ego. I have now found a peace about life and God's blessings are begining to flow. I have learned that I am the only thing that stands in the way of me and the task God has laid before me.
I think I have learned the true meaning of humility. I used to think that being humble was not drawing attention to my self. Humility to me was not associated with God. It was an act much like going to church or keeping pure thoughts, all of which contributed to my righteousness (or lack of). I learned that humility has nothing to do with the way I act, but rather with the choices I make regarding God in my life. True humility is understanding your place in God's Plan, and choosing to be part of him.

"Lord thank you for teaching me to be holy. I will never be without fault, but I desire to live the way you want me to. Please help me to submit to you in everyway. With all my self, father motivate me to follow your calling."